Would also work in the UK! Someone tell Mr Cameron, mr Milliband, and the other guy:
Subject: Grumpy old folks fix Australia
Absolutely love this, who-ever thought it up is a genius, they need congratulating. Enjoy, best regards :
Dear Mr Abbot, as the official replacement for our Prime Minister
Please find below our suggestion for fixing Australia ‘s economy.
Instead of giving billions of dollars to car companies & other businesses that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $1 million each severance for
early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings
– unemployment fixed!
2) They MUST buy a new Australian car.
Ten million cars ordered
– Car Industry fixed!
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off
– Housing Crisis fixed!
4) They MUST send their kids
to school/college/university –
Crime rate fixed!
5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH
of alcohol/tobacco a week …
and there’s your money back in duty/tax etc..
6) Instead of ‘stuffing around’ with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
7) Cut down on pollies perks – they earn enough money to pay for their own petrol, food, drinks, airfares for their wives & families like all other hard working Aussies do. We pay big money.. but we still get MONKEYS!!!
8) No government credit cards for pollies – let them get their own then they will be more careful about how they use it and pay up on time so as not to incur interest.
It can’t get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances..
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know. If not, please disregard.
Grumpies of the World Unite
Let’s put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access
to showers, hobbies and walks.
They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ’s and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left
all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay $600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
THE AUSTRALIAN CONSTITUTION.
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq… Why don’t we just give them ours?
It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we’re not using it anymore.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this –
You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’,
‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ and
‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of
lawyers, judges and politicians…
It creates a hostile work environment.
Think about this.
If you don’t want to forward this for fear of
offending someone —
YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
It is time for us grumpy old folk of Australia
to speak up!!!!
Photo: grumpy old pensioner at Hodsock Priory, Worksop.